Friends Forever?


Under Knapp’s relationship model there are the 5 stages of developing a relationship by way of initiating, experimenting, intensifying, integrating and bonding. Then 5 stages of coming apart of differentiating, circumscribing, stagnating, avoiding, and terminating. Read more about Knapp's model here. 

 

I recently found myself hopping from one column to another and back again. In this relationship my friend and I had been what we called best friends. We worked together for many years, and had developed to the integrating stage of friendship in the way that everyone knew we were best friends, we had a family like relationship in regards to our communication and engagement with each other. After 10 years we had a very strange fight in which we didn’t speak for 2 years! It was nothing particularly serious, but the consequences and impact on our relationship was, which led us to terminating the relationship all together.

 

After two years and the death of a mutual friend we have repaired our relationship and I would say now have returned to somewhere in between intensifying and integrating. I think that while the progression structure Knapp has outlined makes sense, and is a logical process, relationships are not always quite so linear.

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